6% gay tax

I know it’s only my second post, but I’m going to rant about the fact that I can’t get married again.  I promise that this will not be the only topic I address on here (but I have a feeling it may feature prominently).

Here’s the thing.  I believe that people who have religious objections to marriage between two people of the same sex have every right to hold that belief and to teach their progeny that such relationships are an abomination.  My mother, for instance, held all sorts of religious beliefs with which I now disagree.  She believed that the following things were sinful:  women cutting their hair, women wearing pants, women shaving their legs, women thinking, etc.  Although she had every right to try to pass those beliefs on to me, I guarantee that every person reading this, including the religious, would think it absurd if she had tried to convince her elected officials to legislate these strongly held personal beliefs.  (Fortunately, my mother also believed that engaging in the political process was sinful, else she may have tried to so influence her local and state officials.)

There seems to be this misconception that religious beliefs and ideals are at the foundation of our laws.  This may be because at least 3 of the 10 commandments feature heavily in our legal system, particularly prohibitions against murder, theft, and perjury.  As we should all know by now, correlation does not beget causation.  These types of prohibitions appear in our legal system, not because they were commanded by God, but because they are all behaviors that directly impact other people.  If I kill, steal, or lie, I directly harm someone else.

And this brings me to my point.

If Kate and I were allowed to legally married, our union would not have any discernable, direct impact on any other marriage.  But the prohibition against same sex marriage directly impacts and disadvantages us on a regular basis.

Let me give you an example of today’s disadvantage.

Kate and I make every attempt to legally intertwine our lives in every way we can imagine.  As good, practical lesbians, we also try to anticipate every possible scenario and to have back-up plans for our contingency plans.  Our bank and savings account are held jointly.  When we bought a home, we made sure the deed indicated joint ownership with rights of survivorship, so if one of us meets an untimely demise, the home will belong to the other clear and outright.  We met with an attorney yesterday to discuss our end of life paperwork and having a will drafted to ensure everything passes from one to the other with as little hassle as possible.  When I bought a new car a couple of months ago, we put it in both of our names.  If we could get married, most of these types of things would be automatically conveyed benefits that most heterosexual couples take for granted. 

This morning, we went downtown for Kate to renew the registration on her car and to have the lien removed from the title, since we paid her car off when we bought mine.  Since we were already in the building, Kate wanted to inquire about having me added to the title.  Her reasoning is this:  Since we do not yet have wills in place, she didn’t want me to lose the car I had already helped pay for if she were to die in the next couple of weeks.  (Like I said earlier, we like to be prepared for anything and everything.)

When we went to the title office, we were told that I would have to pay a 6% sales tax on the current value of the car in order to be added to the title.  We were then told that only first degree relatives (parent-child) and spouses are exempt from this tax.  So, in order for me to have a legal right to a car I helped pay for, I would have to pay about $700 in taxes – all because I’m not allowed to get a marriage license for $35.50 in the office across the hall from the title office.  Additionally, we’re having to fork over $500 to have our end of life paperwork drafted by an attorney, all in an attempt to approximate the benefits conveyed by a marriage license that costs $35.50.

Let’s review the numbers:

·         Costs associated with being a gay couple in the Osman-Damron household this week:  $1,200

·         Cost of a marriage license that would forego the above costs:  $35.50

·         Potential savings for the Osman-Damron household this week if they could get a marriage license:   $1,164.50

In other words, Kate and I are being ‘fined’ $1,164.50 just because some folks don’t approve of our relationship, when that relationship in no way directly affects anyone but us. 

So, here’s a deal I’m willing to make with the religious right who prevents marriage from being an option for me and Kate:  If you let us get married, I promise to never ever perform acts of lesbian sex in your churches.  If you don’t, you better get some Gallagher-tarps for parishioners in the front pews, ‘cause it’s about to get real wet and messy all up in your altar.