Alpha Dyke Situational Awareness

I have come to realize that I have a unique type of gaydar; my own special Sapphic sense, if you will.  I don’t necessarily notice every gay person around me or sniff out closeted homosexuals, but I can usually sense other masculine women (lesbian or not) from great distances.  I like to refer to this as alpha dyke situational awareness.  As an alpha dyke, I have to be aware of my surroundings and to potential threats to my masculine dominance.  Let me give you an example of this uncanny ability.

Earlier today while I was driving home, I noticed a butch lady driving a white Ford Explorer that was stopped at a light as I turned onto a street on my route.  The visual contact lasted no more than 2 seconds, as I never stopped, but merely drove past this butch lady in the white Explorer.  As soon as I passed her, I realized that I sort of knew who she was, even though I had never met her and had only seen a picture of her on facebook.  I sent a text to a friend to confirm this butch’s identity.

Me:  “Does ur gf drive a white explorer? 

Friend:  “Who is this?”  [She is perpetually changing phone numbers, losing her phone, or losing all of the contacts in her phone.  She is not an alpha dyke.]

Me:  “Tami”

Friend:  “Oh lol.  Yea she does… why??”

Me:  “I just saw her at a stop light.”

Friend:  “How the heck did u know her?”  [Again, I have never, ever met my friend’s girlfriend; I have only seen one or two pictures of her on facebook.]

Me:  “Pics from facebook.  And my ability to sense any lesbians in a 100 yard radius.  As an alpha dyke, I’m acutely aware of the presence of other butches.”

The moral to this story, you ask?

If you know me and you are also a butch woman, be advised that you will never be able to sneak up on me or catch me unawares.  I forget nothing, and I am always on alert.  I am an expert at alpha dyke situation awareness.