Chick-fil-A-tio

It seems that everyone - both left and right - has their tits in a twist over this Chick-fil-A anti-gay controversy.  My then-husband and I used to eat at Chick-fil-A in college because it was a part of the campus food court, but I've only eaten there a handful of times in the past decade or so.  

I fully support Dan Cathy's right to hold whatever beliefs on marriage, family, and sexuality he wants.  I also fully support his right to donate to the charities and organizations of his choice.  I, in no way, wish to limit his freedom of religion or speech.  However, as a consumer, a lesbian, and an atheist, I have every right to voice a counter opinion and buy my chicken sandwiches elsewhere.

It's true that I'd rather put a dick in my mouth than a Chick-fil-A sandwich, but that doesn't mean I'm angry at folks who still eat there.  I am angry, however, at folks who actively work to keep me from being able to legally marry the woman to whom I'm completely, lovingly committed.   I'm not going to assume that every person who eats at Chick-fil-A is raging homophobe, just as I don't assume everyone with an iPhone actively supports human rights violations.

If you're one of those unlucky folks who loves Chick-fil-A's food and supports equality, here's my offer to you:   Donate $10 to the the Human Rights Campaign, Kentucky Fairness, or Lexington Fairness and I will gladly make you a tasty chicken sandwich with homemade bread & butter pickles and a side of carrot & raisin salad. 

Deal?

Island of Misfit Lesbians

This video is some preacher in North Carolina blabbering about getting rid of my people.   He suggests we sequester all gay people inside an electrified fence until we disappear.  Since women cannot reproduce with women and men cannot reproduce with men, he posits that we’ll all die off soon enough. 

There appear to be two groups who need to be sequestered:  lesbians and queers/homosexuals.  Are lesbians not queers/homosexuals?  Let’s send Pastor Worley a dictionary.  Also, somebody should probably tell him he’ll need three encampments; otherwise, where would he put the trans folks?

Regardless, I want to focus on Pastor Worley’s proposed lesbian encampment.  His proposal is not grossly inhumane.  I mean, he supports dropping food into the encampment.  That’s kind of him, right?  But does he really think this is a punishment for lesbians?  One, lesbians are reclusive, tribal creatures.  We love women-only spaces.  We also love the outdoors and camping.  His proposed encampment – let’s call it the Island of Misfit Lesbians – would just turn into a year-round Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival.  Within a menstrual cycle, we’ll have that encampment running like a well-lubricated dildo complete with several softball leagues.  Most lesbians I know are social workers and nurses, so we’ll Hull House the shit out that place.  Even if we lesbians grew tired of our confined space, does Pastor Worley really think a large society of lesbians couldn’t cut the power to that electric fence with just a little duct tape and a tampon string?  Obviously, Pastor Worley doesn’t know the lesbians I know.

Of course, the most ridiculous part of his argument is that this strategy would eliminate homosexuality because when we all died so would that love that dare not speak its name.  The last time I checked, most of my people were spawned by heterosexuals.  I mean, sequester us if you want, but YOU’LL just make more of us.