Need Affordable Healthcare? Grow a Tail.

Yesterday, my wife dropped our two young cats off at the vet to get spayed.  Our vet keeps animals overnight for observation with this procedure, so we picked them up from the vet this morning.

As I typically do, I reviewed our bill from the vet.  It cost us $124 to spay one cat.  Here's what we got for $124:

• Anesthesia
• An ovariohysterectomy
• Pain medications during surgery
• Medications for post-surgery pain
• Overnight care

So, basically, we got a hysterectomy and a 24 hour hospital stay for $124.

This begs the question:  Why the hell is healthcare for humans so damned expensive?

The cost for a human hysterectomy is typically $8,000 - $10,000.  That means it costs at least 65 times more for a human hysterectomy than an animal hysterectomy. 

Back in 2008, our shih tzu, Lexi, mysteriously punctured her eye.  Our regular vet performed emergency surgery to save her eye by suturing her cornea and covering it with a conjuctival flap.  She stayed in the hospital for 3 days.  The surgery, hospitalization, and all medications cost us $360.80.

The average cost of a day of inpatient hospital care for humans in Kentucky is around $1,500.   If Lexi had been human, her hospital say alone would have cost $4,500.

I'm not saying that the cost to treat humans should be as low as it is to treat animals.  But the gap in cost should not be so wide.  Humans are animals, after all.  Vets and doctors use many of the same basic medications and procedures.

The next time I'm sick or need surgery, I think I'm going to borrow a tail from my ex-husband and go to my vet instead of my doctor.  It couldn't hurt to try, right?

Low T

Maybe I've been watching too many late night infomercials, but I think I might be suffering from low T.  Over the past few months, I've found myself suffering from increased empathy. caring, and emotionality.  I've had multiple friends express concerns about my loss of butch vigor and credibility.  During the past 24 hours, though, it's become abundantly clear to me that I have a problem.

Currently, the wife and I are dog-sitting for our best friends.  They brought them over yesterday evening before leaving town.  The wife worked last night, so I was left to care for the dogs myself.  We have a two-story home, and one of the dogs has health problems that prevent her from going upstairs.  As bedtime drew near, I started feeling bad about going upstairs and leaving the dogs alone downstairs on their first night with us.  So what did I do?  I grabbed a pillow and blanket and slept on the couch in the living room, with one of the dogs sleeping on my feet and one of our cats sleeping on my chest. 

Then, this evening after work, I felt the sudden, overwhelming urge to go shopping for hair products and scented candles for myself.  And I did.

If this behavioral and emotional trend continues, I'm afraid I'll be wearing dresses by my next birthday.   

I think I'm on the verge of hitting bottom; my butch bottom.  Consider this my cry for help.  Is there a 12 step program for regaining your female masculinity?

 

Coffee vs. Food Stamps

I just spent $5.04 on a venti pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks.

In 2011, the average monthly food stamp benefit per recipient in KY was $127.60. That's $4.25 a day for food.

If you've ever spent more on one cup of coffee than a person on food stamps has to spend on a whole day of food and I hear you bitching about poor people living off the government, I will be inclined to punch you in the face.

Have a good weekend, y'all.