Halfothermia: A Childhood of Inadequate Heat

It's currently 2 degrees Fahrenheit outside.  Despite this, I sit inside my own home, all toasty and warm.

Central heat in my home is still a luxury I do not take for granted.  Growing up, I spent every winter in a state of halfothermia.  What is halfothermia, you ask?  Well, it's what happens to you when you have inadequate heating sources, leaving half your body covered in sweat and the other half icy cold. 

If you've experienced the glorious, searing heat of a pot belly stove, a Stokermatic/Combustioneer, or the always indoor safe kerosene heater, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  If not, let me illustrate for you.

Old pot belly stove - a contraption like this heated my grandfather's home

Above is a rough floor plan of my grandfather's house.  The orangish-red circle is where his pot belly stove was located.  The only warm place to sit in the house was in one of the chairs adjacent to the pot belly stove.  However, if you sat there, you would always end up with halfothermia (and stuck to the nearly melted faux leather chair).  You'd also have to set an alarm throughout the night to add more coal to the fire to make sure it didn't go out.  After all, inadequate heat is better than no heat at all.

Stokermatic - an abominable machine similar to the Combustioneer that my parents used to heat their home; the vents in the front blow hot, dry air into the room

   

Here you have a rough diagram of my parents' home.  The red circle shows where their Combustioneer was located.  Given it's large coal hopper and fan to blow heat, this is definitely an improvement over a pot belly stove.  Still, the range was limited.  During really cold times, my parents would sit a kerosene heater in the middle of the kitchen floor and fire it up to warm the back bedrooms while we slept.  This, of course, always lead to halfothermia with a side of carbon monoxide poisoning, as I have no recollection of anyone ever cracking a window while using that kerosene heater indoors.

Come to think of it, I'm just grateful to have survived childhood.  Central heat is a just a pleasant bonus in adulthood.